Ask Your Aunts

Drugs are Armless

Dear Aunts,

My teenage daughter is taking Zombee. I’ve tried to convince her to stop by limiting her oxygen, to no avail. I know you’ve been covering the Zombee epidemic in your magazine and I would like any advice on how to convince her that taking it is not only bad for her health but is also tearing our family apart. Just last week we buried my son’s arm! My husband was turned into a Zombie last summer and he’s always trying to pass on some of his bad habits to her between stints of attempting to eat her brain. Send help!

From Ellen, Earth 25

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Dear Ellen,

The best way to confront these things is head on. Sit your daughter down for an intervention. Perhaps unbury your son’s arm to show her the physical extent of her actions? Ask your husband to come only if you have protective measures to keep the rest of your family safe. We wouldn’t want anything else to happen to your family. Or would we?

Best, Your Aunts

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