Millennials are some of the most controversial figures in the media today. Everyone seems to have an opinion on them— politicians, journalists, and other generations— even the Millennials themselves. Everyone knows a Millennial— those 1,000 year old demigods who refuse to get a job and blow all their money on cabbage toast. Often referred to as the ‘me’ generation, these ‘entitled creatures’ are often cited as being too reliant on the government and for daring to ask for jobs that would allow them to live meaningful lives.
The history of the Millennial is fraught with controversy. In the Great System War, the Millennials were normal people living in Universe 761 but to win the war citizens were genetically enhanced, becoming stronger and gaining immortality. At first they were praised as miracles of science, but now they are seen as burdens on the financial and social health of the System. Due in part to their abnormally long lives, Millennials have acquired a vast amount of wealth, allowing them to do things like clone themselves and track down alternate selves across the System in order to back up their opinions on social media posts.This has gone so far that they have been banned from making any FleetBook, Zumblr, or Spitter accounts.
Many political figures discredit the Millennial, calling them lazy and unprofessional in the ever expanding job market. “The Future is now, and you aren’t apart of it,” said an angry politician at a debate discussing a ban on anyone older than 180 from running for political office. It is true that while the Millennials and their clones have strong political opinions, many of them do not show up to vote in important elections.
Millennials are known for their deeply nihilistic world view. In a recent interview, prominent Millennial Rachel Green was asked how she felt about the future of humankind. ‘I’ve lived, like, forever,’ she said. ‘And let me tell you, nothing gets better. It would honestly be better if the world ended tomorrow, rather than carrying on in this boring and unoriginal state.’
When asked to elaborate, she declined, only stating that ‘this conversation itself is meaningless’ before walking away. Green is considered to be one of the more optimistic Millennials.
These immortals have claimed that, because of their unfortunate origins, they have collectively developed a identity disorder, making it harder and harder for them to fully understand themselves.This is #relatable for the Space Rock crew, as our own limited time in the known universe has been a constant mystery to ourselves and others. We couldn’t imagine what a hundred years would do to someone’s psyche, let alone a thousand. Millennials have also been criticised for relying heavily on telepathic dating to suit their romantic needs. Telepathic dating stresses mental connection, and while that may seem romantic to some, others have claimed that this kind of attachment is poor in comparison to physical or digital dating. ‘I met my wife in the old fashioned way— digitally, ’ one journalist for The System Standard News said in their article. ‘These Millennials don’t understand that you can’t really form a connection through something as vapid as telepathy.’ Some Millennials have responded by inventing stories about where they met their partners, claiming that they either met in person, or more often, through technology like FleetBook or Cinder.
To combat these stereotypes about Millennials some key members of the group have taken a stand, writing in to System newspapers in haikus and hacking into communication systems to play deconstructed covers of popular songs.
We here at the Space Rock support Millennials. Not only were they once war heroes, they have also been some of the most stunning innovators of the new age. Millennials have seen history repeat itself over and over again and other generations can learn from them. Knowing about their origins can help us relate to them, creating better balance in the System. They aren’t going away any time soon, so the institutional oppressors should just get used to them— no matter how annoying or vapid they are.