1. Commit some kind of galactic crime. Fraud, illegal transportation of explosives, and/or robbery all qualify.
2. Ignore your court summons.
3. Steal a freighter, preferably one with some blast cannons and a vibrant aquatic fish tank.
4. Destroy the commissioner’s favourite ice cream parlour as you fly through the System Capital while dodging fire from the police.
5. Accidentally burn down the monument to System-wide peace that is shaped like a pineapple. Didn’t mean to do it but sorry, not sorry.
6. Escape into the hyperspace with the police on your tail.
7. Use your blast cannons to ‘disable’ the police cruisers.
8. Stop for quick coffee at Bill’s Diner, the best joint in all the System!
9. Hit a stray meteor and crash land into the face of the Space Rock.
10. Use the shell of the stolen craft to make a home on the Space Rock that is undetectable to the authorities.
11. Congratulations! You’ve evaded the System Authorities (for now).
Need Help? We’ve all been there. Whether you want to know how to infiltrate your planetary government or how to make the perfect cheese sandwich, just sob into your pillow and we’ll write you a How To guide in the next post!