1. Locate your preferred apocalypse. If you can’t find one naturally occurring, store bought is fine.
2. Be prepared. It’s no good hunting down a good nuclear explosion if you don’t have a biohazard suit.
3. Wait it out. Whether you are waiting for the zombies to turn on each other or for the ash clouds to settle, don’t leave that bunker too soon.
4. Find other survivors. Resist the temptation to bonk them on the head and steal everything they own.
5. Crown yourself Chief/King/Empress. If anyone questions this, abandon them on a tiny island in the middle of an acid lake.
6. Find a consort. Preferably a tall, dark, handsome stranger. If you can’t find one, fashion one from a piece of debris.
7. Survive the civil uprising. It’s no surprise perhaps, that your subjects wanted some of the “edible” food or the “clean” water.
8. Get revenge. May your enemies cower before your radiation poisoned stare.
9. Start again. Learn from your mistakes and call yourself “Elected Leader” this time.
10. Congratulations! You survived the apocalypse!
Need Help? We’ve all been there. Whether you want to know how to infiltrate your planetary government or how to make the perfect cheese sandwich, just sob into your pillow and we’ll write you a How To guide in the next post!